A Bittersweet Love
by JvponyLover
Summary: When Fluttershy just got out of a hurtful realtionship who will be there to help her feel better in more ways than one  COPYRIGHT: i dont own any of the chracters they are all owned by Hasbro
1. Prolouge

A Bittersweet Love

BY: JvponyLover

prolouge

Her mane was blowing in the wind, the water whispering in her ear. "This wasn't what was supposed to happen" she thought. "it wasn't supposed to end this way.." she felt tears streaming down her cheek feeling the sobs start up, the taste of bittersweet sadness left in her heart aching. She couldn't help it she wanted so much to be swept up by death, to be done with, no more.


	2. Dear Agony

Chapter 1: Dear Agony

Her breaths quickened, she flinched just barely. She slowly and artistically moved the blade across her legs, stopping only when she had to breathe. That's when she heard it, there was a knock at the door. Her eyes widened, she had to hurry if she wasn't to be caught, she set the blade down gently and took the bandages from the cupboard and slowly set about patching herself up. Fluttershy then galloped upstairs and quickly threw on a sweatshirt. The knocks got louder, she took a deep breath and rushed down stairs to answer the door.

"Hi Miss Fluttershy! Ah wanted to check up on ya, ya know see how you're feeling an all" said Big Macintosh.

"Oh….um…I'm okay" said Fluttershy. She knew he would be stopping by at some point in the day its just she hadn't expected so early.

"Well do you mind if Ah cut in," said Big Macintosh.

"What did you say?"

"Ah said mind if Ah come in?" He repeated himself.

"Oh of course you can just give me a few minutes to clean up ok?"

"Eeyup," he said. Fluttershy quickly rushed to the bathroom and put all the bandages away and then took the blades up gently and put them on top of the cupboard where no pony would ever think to look. She then walked out of the bathroom and closed the door then walked back to the door and let Big Macintosh in.

"Wow Miss Fluttershy - Ah never seen you're house so….dark before!"

"Oh. Sorry Big Macintosh. I've been sorta…busy," she said.

"Well Ah was wondering if you're not busy an all if maybe you wanted to go see…a…",

"No I'm sorry but I cant right now. I don't feel to well, okay?"

"Oh, Ah'm sorry. Well then, Ah hope you feel better. Before Ah go, mind if Ah use your restroom?"

Fluttershy went wide eyed - what if he finds the… "No, no. Go ahead Big Macintosh"

As Big Macintosh closed the door to the bathroom Fluttershy pressed herself against the door listening for any hint of him finding her "tools." Then as quickly as he went in he came out, noticing Fluttershy awkwardly close to the door blushed, "Well Ah'll be on my way then."

Authors note: well guys this is my second try at a first fic I decided to use what ive gone through in my life to apply to the story so far its playing out all right I know its kinda short but I promise the next one will be longer till then ill be listening to as much linkin park as possible to set the mood.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

The nightmare

"No-no please I didn't mean…" She fell to the floor. Another hoof came flying at her "Ouch *Sob* ouch…you're hurting me" she covered her face to block the oncoming assailments. "Please I'm so…*Sob* so sorry I didn't mean to…to do that." *Gasp* Fluttershy woke up with a start she was having another nightmare about him. She opened her bedside stand and took the box of razors out gently and began her work. She decided to start with her left frontal leg first. She breathed in deeply and made the incision. The cold touch of the razor to her skin made her jump, but she felt so good drawing out the warmth from within. She shuddered and her eyes became heavy she felt so good inside. She knew she had to bandage up before she went back to sleep reluctantly she lifted the blade off her leg and set it aside. She lifted up her bed covers and slowly climbed out of, bed grabbing the blade and trotted to the bathroom. She preceded to wash off her tool and then washed her arm feeling it sting she winced, but she loved the feeling of the burn. She turned off the water and grabbed the bandages from the cupboard and started wrapping her leg up in the sterile cloth. She slowly climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin and finally drifted off to sleep. *Knock-knock*. *Thud-thud*. *THUD-THUD*. Fluttershy awoke with start "I wonder who that could be." She got out of bed and searched her closet for another sweatshirt, she found an old purple one and threw it on. She trotted down the stairs and open the door, "Well hey there miss Fluttershy." "Oh…hi…Big Macintosh" said fluttershy. "Ah was wonderin if you wanted to go with me to get a drink." "This early in the morning?…I…I don't know." "Aw c'mon Miss Fluttershy what's a drink or two?" He gave a reassuring smile. "well…alright I guess a couple couldn't really hurt." So she walked out closed the door and they began their way to Old Moonshines bar. They continued with some small chat but other than that they both remained quiet. Once they arrived to their destination Big Macintosh immediately ordered a martini for fluttershy and a big mug of scotch for himself. "So Miss fluttershy Ah can't help but noticed you've been down in the dumps lately and Ah didn't want to bother you, but Ah really wanna know what's wrong." Fluttershy gulped down her drink in one go and responded with a quick "nothing." "Oh come on sugarcube everyone's noticing it you're upset and we all care bout ya, cant ya just come clean?" "Bartender another martini please…, no Big Macintosh nothings…wrong okay?" After gulping down her third martini she was pretty drunk and Big Macintosh only half way through his scotch could tell something was up and now was the time to find out. "So Miss Fluttershy Ah was wonderin why you're always wearing those sweatshirts of those in dead summer.' "Wouldn't you *hic* Like to *hic* know." "Yes sugarcube Ah would…" Fluttershy immediately broke out in sobs she started to roll up her sleeves.


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHORS NOTE

HEY ALL! JV here sorry about taking so long for this update I've had a lot going on and have been busy and of course those damn pills I've been taking have been crushing my creativeness…But in this chapter we will be exploring the past of Fluttershy's relationship with a mysterious stallion and there's a song for this chapter I used to inspire me I'm sure some of you know the band but the songs called the _**"The price we pay by a day to remember" **_look it up real quick and give it a try…now for something for you guys to think about _"What rises must eventually fall…but what falls will eventually rise again". _thank you now enjoy the story ^^

- JV

Chapter 3

Day's End

Morning 7:00 am

"Oh…how beautiful!"

"I knew you'd like it I made it just for you my love."

Fluttershy stood there completely entranced by the ball of light orbiting around the room shining and changing colors from spring green to ocean blue to soft pink.

"I wish there was some way I could repay you…" She looked him in the eyes studying him, his dark purple eyes reflected the colors of the ball light and his lips curled into a soft smile.

"Oh its no big deal I'm just happy to see you happy" he smiled even wider. She leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips and he embraced her.

"Well we should probably get ready for twi's luncheon."

"Ok."

_SHIFT…_

Noon 1:24 pm

"Its such a beautiful day out don't you think so love?" fluttershy turned to her lover.

"Indeed it is, look I think I see the others up ahead" He turned away and trotted off ahead. Fluttershy preceded soon afterwards looking forward to seeing Twi, Aj, Dash, Pinkie and Rarity.

"Well hey there fluttershy and Masa!" said Dash excitedly.

" Hey all!" they both replied.

_SHIFT…_

Nighttime 11:30 pm

*Crack* a vase is smashed against the wall.

"No I'm so…so sorry…"

"Why the hell did you embarrass me like that!"

"I'm sorry *Sob* I-I didn't mean to" she felt hot tears stream down her face as she saw her assailant slowly make his way towards her. He grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall holding back his hoof.

"Pl-please don't!…please!" she broke out sobbing even louder. Masa's eyes went wide and he dropped her to the floor she landed with a loud thump. Fluttershy began balling her eyes out

"I'm sorry Masa…please still love me!" Masa sat back on his hind legs and embraced her.

"I still love you just don't…embarrass me again I promise I still love you…"

_SHIFT…_

_At old moonshines bar_

_She started shaking uncontrollably as those memories came flooding back, she was still shakily rolling up her sleeves she looked over and saw that Big Mac's eyes had gone wide. _

"_S-sugarcube have you been…"_

"_Yes…" Fluttershy said in a near whisper of the voice she had left. She finally couldn't take the memories, the lightheadedness and the surprise and she fainted_

"_Somepony get help!" yelled Big Mac as he stooped to Fluttershy's side. Everypony sat there either shocked or just too drunk to do anything._

_Fluttershy awoke with a start in a cold sweat. "was it all just a dream?"_

_She looked down to the floor to see Big Macintosh curled up asleep and blushed. _

"_had he carried me all the way home?" She trotted over to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face, then decided she had enough time to do a quick session. So she closed the door to the bathroom and reached for her blade above the cabinet, her eyes went wide "w-where is it?"_

_Suddenly she heard a loud knock at the door , she immediately changed her expression to a clam one and opened the door. _

"_looking for this darling?" Big Mac said as he has a grim look on his face._

"_h-how did you…"_

"_sugarcube ya cant be doing this ta yourself…"_

"_Please Big Mac… please I need it…"_

"_No you don't fluttershy" he said as he backed up a few inches. She slowly moved forward towards him._

"_you cant tell anypony else I-I'll do anything…just don't tell…please?" she was on the verge of tears, she had so looked forward to relieving some of the stress and hurt. But now it seemed that Big Mac was about to ruin everything._

"_Please!…p-please!"_

"_alright fluttershy I wont say anything…"_

"_Ple-wait what?"_

"_I wont say anything…But!"_

"_But what?" She said._

"_Promise me when ya do this again you'll try talking ta me first…I wanna be here fer ya…"_

"_Ar-are you sure?…I mean I usually do this late at night I don't know if you'd like being…woken up…"_

"_Sugarcube I wont be able to sleep at night if ya keep doing this ta yerself" With that he threw the blade in the trash can and trotted forward and embraced her tightly. She blushed madly she had no idea why she was blushing but she felt safe in his hug like there was no more bad memories or pain. She chanced a glance up at his face and he give her a soft shy smile._

"_just promise me you wont hurt yerself again with out telling me…"_

"_o-ok I promise…"_

_ENDING NOTE_

_Well guys that was a hard chapter to churn out but with my favorite band Times of grace and some memories of mine I finally gave ya'll what you hopefully wanted…_

_Have a great day_

_JV _


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